Okay. It's been the longest time since I've written something. Not that you care.

This last year. Sucked. It had some of the best times I've had this year. And DEFINITELY the worst.

I can't bring myself to saying all the shit that went on in the last two months of two thousand and nine. But just know. It was bad. And now I'm all alone.

I don't want to face people. Because they ask questions.

I don't want to answer these questions. Because it hurts.

And then. People take advantage of the vulnerability to tell me they're 'there' for me. When they never really are.

Your tears don't fall.
They crash around me.

I like writing when I know nobody else is reading what I'm writing. It gives you a happy feeling. God knows how much I could use some of that.

It's funny. And ironic. How I'm known as the happiest kid around. Or the one who's never sad.
When every single time I laugh. I'm pretending.

No. I don't find your jokes funny. I never have. I don't want you to stop cracking them. Because then there'll be an awkward silence between us. And I don't like those. God knows how much I hate those. At least I know you're trying. Even if it is half-no-quarter-heartedly.

It's strange how God seems to know so much. But. He couldn't let her stay with us.

I bet He knew how we'd feel. How badly the black hole sucked everything out of our lives.

It's just strange.


Off In The Night.
While You Live It Up.
I'm Off To Sleep.
Waging Wars Against The Poet And The Beat.