1.  And when orange flavored candy falls from the sky. You know you're in heaven. I know I'm with you.

I never knew

I never knew that everything was falling through

That everyone I knew was waiting on a cue

To turn and run when all I needed was the truth. 

 So. I wake up. And I realized its the second day of Eid. My first 'Second Day Of Eid' without Mum.
What I DON'T get, and what I don't WANT to get is people's mentalities.
I'd been trying to hold back the tears all morning, yesterday.
And. All of a sudden, my cousin's wife come up and says 'I Get A Bad Feeling In The Pit Of My Stomach Everytime I Think About Your Mother Not Being Here. It Seems So Strange. She Was Here Last Year. Now. She's Not.'
And then the lady starts fanning herself.
I mean. Purposefully or unintentionally, don't be an arse.

. + Movie Scenes In Black And White. The Snow Falls Down. Alone Tonight.

So. Here's what I hate the most about you.

1) Your face.
2) Your uber cheesy smile. It disgusts me.
3) The 'mean look'. Yes. The same one you think actually works. It actually does.
4) The fact that everywhere I look. Is where you used to be. =/
5) Your breath.
6) Your voice. It still haunts me. I guess it always will.
7) The fact that where you are. Is where I wanna be. =/
8) The times you sang for me.
9) Your embrace.
10) The way you speak.
11) The way you used to speak to me.
12) The way you speak to me now.
13) How you barely speak to me now.
14) There's a hole where my heart is. And it's because of you.
15) As cheesy as this is. I hate that I still love you. Unconditionally. Irrevocably.

I hate it. And. Everything that you stand for. And. Every memory we made. I  hate you. I hate everything about you. Why do I love you?

The Ones Who Leave. Haven't Actually Left. God Just Hides Their Faces From Us. Why? I Do Not Know.

Seems Like It Was Yesterday That I Saw Your Face. You Told Me How Proud You Were And I Walked Away. If Only I Knew What I Know Today.

. + Countess Elizabeth Bathory

So. The other day, I'm walking around the house. And I realize that everywhere I go. I have a song in my head. A song that suits everything perfectly.
Like, right now. There's an old movie about vampires and werewolves on the TV. And. My mind's screaming out 'Carry You Home' by James Blunt.
I've deduced that I have my own background music, wherever I go.

I miss Mum. Like crazy. It's been a little too long. That's completely my Mum song.

'As Strong As You Are;
Tender You Go;
I'm Watching You Breathing;
For The Last Time.
A Song For Your Heart;
But When It Is Quiet;
I Know What It Means;
And I'll Carry You Home. '

I just woke up. And. I don't know what else to blog about. =/ It's been eight months since I've met Mum. I see her everyday. But. She seldom talks to me. I wonder what I did to piss her off. I don't know what it was. I really don't. =/


Yesterday. Was amazing. Shahrose, Saniya, Menahil made my day. I was in the worst mood ever before. But. I couldn't stop laughing then.

Anywho. I guess I'd better go get some breakfast, seeing as how I'm not allowed to fast, right now. Stupid Doctors. -_-


<3

And now that my heart is much lighter. Can I fly up to where you are?

And as I sit, here, anticipating your next moves, I forget all of mine.

Everything I say is completely taken out of context. I hope that doesn't happen when I tell you I love you.

Even though eight months have passed, now, we feel like we're the only people on Earth in the world going through this. Guess what. We are. Nobody else lost you.

And the little exposure we got through communication, we lost through hate.