I never knew

I never knew that everything was falling through

That everyone I knew was waiting on a cue

To turn and run when all I needed was the truth. 

 So. I wake up. And I realized its the second day of Eid. My first 'Second Day Of Eid' without Mum.
What I DON'T get, and what I don't WANT to get is people's mentalities.
I'd been trying to hold back the tears all morning, yesterday.
And. All of a sudden, my cousin's wife come up and says 'I Get A Bad Feeling In The Pit Of My Stomach Everytime I Think About Your Mother Not Being Here. It Seems So Strange. She Was Here Last Year. Now. She's Not.'
And then the lady starts fanning herself.
I mean. Purposefully or unintentionally, don't be an arse.

. + Movie Scenes In Black And White. The Snow Falls Down. Alone Tonight.

So. Here's what I hate the most about you.

1) Your face.
2) Your uber cheesy smile. It disgusts me.
3) The 'mean look'. Yes. The same one you think actually works. It actually does.
4) The fact that everywhere I look. Is where you used to be. =/
5) Your breath.
6) Your voice. It still haunts me. I guess it always will.
7) The fact that where you are. Is where I wanna be. =/
8) The times you sang for me.
9) Your embrace.
10) The way you speak.
11) The way you used to speak to me.
12) The way you speak to me now.
13) How you barely speak to me now.
14) There's a hole where my heart is. And it's because of you.
15) As cheesy as this is. I hate that I still love you. Unconditionally. Irrevocably.

I hate it. And. Everything that you stand for. And. Every memory we made. I  hate you. I hate everything about you. Why do I love you?